Great Sex! How to have it?

I had thought I'd stick with the Identity theme for a while, but yesterday's counseling load caused me to change my mind. Great Sex! Gets your attention doesn't it?

Let me give you a few ingredients drawn from The Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E. Rosenau:
1) Playfulness - it’s the ability to let go, to frolic, and be silly. We forget how to have fun and are too serious much of the time.
2) Love - unconditional acceptance, gentleness, forgiveness. It is the act of placing another person's needs above our own. Intimacy is built on this concept. How can we be open and vulnerable to another person who we can't trust to put us first?
3) Knowledge - Intimacy is the act of knowing and being known. It requires that we understand our partner and what pleases them, what they need and desire. It also requires that we disclose ourselves to the other person.
4) Honesty - While we are playful, we don't play games. We are direct and honest. We don't manipulate but express how we feel and what we need. We never break the bond of our commitment to the other person.
5) Forgiveness - Hurt breaks intimacy. Often the hurt is not by our partner, but someone else, but it causes us to be fearful of being hurt. We must learn to forgive those who have hurt us in order to be free to receive and give love. Forgiveness is canceling the debt owed to us by someone else. It doesn't mean that we forget it, but it means that they no longer owe us anything.
6) Creative Romance - Connecting requires creativity. The same old routine gets boring and we feel used. When someone makes an effort to connect with us in a unique way, we know that they are putting effort into the relationship and it causes us to feel loved.
7) Discipline - Means being planful and deliberate. While spontaneity is great, the pressures of our daily lives will cause us to drift. We need to be intentional about our relationship, then the spontaneity can occur.